Blind spots. They are inescapable if you are on your own. Why? Because you get into a bubble of your reality being taken as the truth. Yet it is not the true reality. It’s only what you perceive of it, from your perspective. Sound a bit woo woo? Let me give you an example from my own life.
A few years ago, I had left a career in conference production, broke up with my girlfriend and was living on my own, in a beautiful cottage I bought in the heart of St Albans, just twenty minutes from central London. I had a belief that I could ‘make it’ on my own, running my own business. I had money in the bank, I was working with a local property developer learning how to assess and secure bigger property deals. I was working on my ecommerce business too. I was on my own, in my spare bedroom office, overlooking the cute little garden.
I had the set up to really make these businesses work. The capital, the time, the space. I didn’t want to admit it at the time, but I was really miserable. Bordering on depression. Something had to change. Fortunately I had a coaching session with someone who gave me a completely new perspective. Only rather than point out what they saw, I did. And it changed everything.
Get a fresh perspective without being influenced by others
This coach did an exercise with me that gave me a new perspective. I first experienced my reality as if I was me. I felt what it was like sitting in my office on my own, working on a business I didn’t enjoy, and I knew I was miserable. Then I took the perspective of a third person or a fly-on-the-wall, looking down at Matt, as if he was a character in a movie. The coach asked me a couple of powerful questions as I was in this observer role and in a state of high awareness.
“What do you notice about Matt here?”
I just saw him miserable, almost in tears, staring out the window on a rainy day, breathing very shallowly as he had no energy for this work, no motivation and no drive. He purely was doing it to make more money. As I was telling the coach what I observed in the scene in my mind’s movie of this character Matt, she then asked:
“As Matt works more on his own, breathing shallowly, with no energy, no motivation and no drive, what could he do differently to feel more energy, motivation and drive and be happier?”
I answered: “Matt’s a social guy. He loves being around people. Matt loves having a boss to overdeliver to and learn from. Matt loves to be exploring and out of the house. Matt is not motivated by money, he works to help people and prove his capabilities to others.”
I experienced what life was like back in Matt’s shoes, this time being out of the house, around lots of people, having a boss and over-delivering to them and proving my capabilities and helping others. It felt great. I was starting to Burn From Within again.
Make decisions on what is important to YOU and what makes YOU happy
Fast forward just two weeks later. I got a call from an ex-work colleague who said they needed a killer salesman and thought I would be perfect for the job. Ordinarily I would have said no immediately to this, instead focused on making millions on my own. Yet something had shifted within me. I went for interviews, got the job and thrived!
I broke several records in my first year, including most new business sales, most sales in the first three months of employment from nothing, the list went on. The money didn’t matter. Those records proved my capabilities. I over-delivered to my boss. I was around people. I was out of the house! I was happy. I was burning from within.
I tell this story about my experience, because often it takes an external event to get us to see another perspective of ourselves on where we need change. It may seem obvious from the outside, but when we are in our own little bubble, our own version of reality, we forget about options, we forget we have choice, and we don’t give ourselves permission to be happy!
Are you going to react to tragedy or act now to prevent it?
I speak with executives and business owners regularly who wait for external events that are so extreme, they could die as a result, before they take action to change. So many have started to get health scares as a result of stress from their job.
We live in a truly globally connected world now, where we are expected to be on call 24/7, even on weekends sometimes. To prove to your boss you are capable of more responsibilities, you take on more and more tasks. The aim is to increase your salary, get more recognition, the list goes on.
Let’s take Nick who was an IT Director from Australia, frequently getting chest pains due to stress from work and never knowing which one would be the heart attack that would prompt him to quit. Or Jacqui, the Commercial Director, who blacked out from exhaustion after trying to cram in the demands her management set her on top of all her personal commitments as she always set the bar high with her amazing capabilities.
But hold up for a second…
IS ANY OF THIS REALLY THAT IMPORTANT?
Did you give yourself the opportunity to see yourself from a different perspective? I was lucky to have been given this opportunity,. You don’t need to wait for a trigger that could seriously damage your health like a heart attack, death in the family, marriage breakdown, developing depression and potentially suicide.
The list of triggers that prompt people to change is long. Don’t wait for them. If you are feeling burnt out, bored and fed up with your career, and want a life full of passion, purpose and balance, let me give you that golden opportunity to work out what is missing and steer you in a new direction for a path you want to be on, not one destined to collide with rocks so you sink.
And if you want to jump right on the phone with me, book a free 30 minute strategy call to quickly find your blind sides and make a plan for how to shift you from burn out to Burn From Within. Here’s my scheduler: https://burnfromwithin.schedulista.com
I’m on a mission to educate busy professionals that they have a conscious choice in how they spend their time. This includes your career, your home life and ultimately your happiness. So if you are feeling stuck, burnt out and fed up, get in touch. You are never alone.