In this episode, we talk about values. What’s important to us in life. And I give you one exercise to quickly work out. What’s important to you. Uh, in fact, you’re going to get the best coach. In the world. To help you if you’re stuck in a situation. With your career or your life. So stay tuned for that. Now, some of us don’t know our values. And instead we focus on what society or culture and media has told us to value. As Seb Terry shared with me in episode one
I just think we’re told to be so many different things from a very young age, by our parents, by culture, by society, by business, by peer pressure, generational trends and all those things. And it’s, uh, it’s very easy and it’s forgivable as well. It’s to see people as I was just going. Okay, cool. And you sort of subscribe to all the things and that you don’t allow that to influence you and you end up being a product of society. But I think in that, the risk is that you completely lose yourself.
You see, there’s a difference between thinking what you should value and what is actually important to you. And the difference is living a life true to yourself. An authentic life. One that is internally aligned. At the values level, at least check out last week’s episode. To find out how to become internally aligned over six levels. It’s one of the top five regrets of the dying discovered by Bronnie ware who’s an Australian palliative care nurse who interviewed hundreds of people at the end of their lives. So checking in with your values every now and then I would recommend every three to six months. There’s life can change a lot in that timeframe. It’s important to ensure that what you’re currently doing in life and what you plan to do. Is aligned with what you want and is, and you’re true to yourself. And it makes decision making a whole lot easier to as Sebel circle. do you find it easy to say no?
uh, yeah. making those decisions comes down to understanding your values. You understand your values, which by the way, always change. But if you understand your values that current time and an opportunity comes your way, you can just quite simply just see which, value it aligns with and is it your top one, and if so, go for it.
We often do things and make decisions based on, on unconscious processes. So you might be listening to this podcast right now because you value inspiration or personal development. For example. But how many things do you spend your time? Doing that you don’t enjoy that you regret or you don’t feel happy with that is in your control well, have you ever watched a movie character do things that, you know, they shouldn’t be doing? Or would never want to do, but they still keep doing them. Like being a miserable job or an being a hopeless relationship. If they were there in front of you. You would probably tell them.
What are you doing with your life? Quit that job or break it off. You’re both so unhappy. Maybe you’ve witnessed friends doing things. That they should be doing, but clearly are unhappy about. And maybe you’ve given them advice. You seek. When you’re observing other people, particularly characters in a movie or on TV, it’s easier to give advice. The emotion is with them. Not with us. So we think clearly logically and give solutions. That could help the situation. And chat.
When we ourselves are unhappy, perhaps in a career that’s not working or don’t know what to do next with our career or in a relationship that’s not working or a lifestyle. There might be leading to unhappiness or damaging our health. We act from emotion. Not logic. Why do people keep smoking, knowing it’s bad for them? Or being in abusive relationships or putting up with meaningless careers. Habit. Unconscious processes. Keeping up with society, the list goes on. If we watch that person in a movie.
Free would be shouting at the screen right so, let me tell you a little story about how I watched a movie of my life and how it led to my career change. Who after investing in some real estate myself, I ended up working with a property developer as it was a chance for me to learn how to find and secure, bigger developments and deals, which was a way to build. Long-term wealth and more passive income. But I absolutely hated, and that’s not a strong enough word. I absolutely hated working with the people that I worked with and all the values that they stood for. It was purely for money. And after a few months, I realized how lonely and unhappy I was. My life really was out of balance. And eventually our became. Quite depressed. In fact, I felt lost.
So I decided to hire a coach was an NLP coach. Uh, who specialized in career transition? And I remember so vividly. One of the powerful tools that she coached me with in particular. Made me realize I was not living as the person I was born to be. I looked at myself objectively as a character in a movie. This guy, Matt. I was seeing was hunched over. At his home office desk. All alone. Looking outside into his garden, watching the rain. And I realized that Matt was a social, fun and confident guy. He was using his natural talents and far from an environment that made him thrive. And it was like watching a bird screaming to get out of a tiny cage. It just was not right. And I had to let him free.
So let’s give you that experience now thank you for context in your day, that might be something that you recently or regularly being unhappy in. Now it could be being in what meetings or working in our own business, perhaps sits even something in your personal life. A moment that you can revisit in your recent memory. That is causing inner conflict. Or unhappiness or stress or some other negative emotion. Now this situation. May likely a caravan in the future, which is why it’s so important now. To find solutions from within for change. Now even thinking about this situation, perhaps. Lots of thoughts. Lots of emotions are rising up. So, if you want to figure out how to change this situation in the future. Or change how you feel about it, which is something that is in your control. You may be trying to figure out what to do.
Maybe you’re feeling stuck. In what we call first position, the world through your eyes and experience thing, the world. Through your emotions through your heirs and all the other senses that you have. So, what this exercise will help you to do is to give you more of an objective perspective of what’s going on in your life so that you can actually advise yourself because you know yourself better than anyone else. And the best way to advise yourself is to remove emotions. From your experience or at least lessen them significantly So you can gain some clarity. So, this is what this is all about.
Now I’m going to guide you through around five minutes of a visualization for you to follow and check what insights that you get from it. Now I did this exercise. I changed my career because of it. I went traveling because of it. And both those decisions I have absolutely no regrets about. So really helped me to look at myself and just see what I was doing. That was serving me what I was doing. Wasn’t. And knowing myself, making the changes that I knew were important. So, if you want to participate, you have the choice not to of course. And the choice to come out of this at any time by taking a deep breath. And opening your eyes. And if you’re ready to participate now. You can start to close your eyes And take a deep breath in through the nose. And out through the mouth. In through the nose. And out through the mouth. In through the nose. And out through the mouth. Now I want you to be present.
With what’s going on in your experience. Float above your body. Right now. And travel into your past. Until you were that memory. Of the context in your work or life? Where you feel misaligned. And want change. Take your time. If you need to. And when you observed that memory. I want you to float yourself into your body. In this memory. As if you’re living it. Right now. See what you see, hear what you hear and feel what you feel.
So just be present with this perspective right now. You’re going through this experience, how are you feeling? What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you telling yourself? What environments are you in right now? is there anything you observe? About yourself through your experience. And now I want you to take one more. Deep breath. And begin to float. Above your body. Float up. So that you can look at yourself. As a character. Like watching a movie. Like a fly on the wall. An independent observer watching this character’s life unfold.
Let’s call this character at X. And just to observe. How acts behaves in this situation. How they breathe. That posture. Any movements they’re making. What they’re doing. Who is X width. Everything in X is experience. From this perspective. Just observe. And as this movie plays out, Remember, it’s just a movie. You’re just observing a character X. And this character is someone that you want to help. Now, what do you notice in X’s experience that isn’t serving them? Right now. What do you notice that is serving them? Right now. And knowing X. And observing acts all their life, the type of character that they are. And knowing them perhaps as a friend. What they really value deep down. The values that X has the meaning X puts into projects. The best attributes X has. Um, what makes acts come alive? What would you advise X? To do differently. Right now. To get back on track and follow. A new path that they’re aligned with.
Take a few moments to think about these observations. Essentially your a coach right now. Observing and guiding acts in the best way that, you know, how. And you can pause this recording if you like to have more time. To reflect on these observations. When you ready? You can float back down from this observer position. And straight into acts. Yourself. Now. In the first person. And in the present moment. With these new learnings. With these valuable insights. And observations. And advice from the best coach in the world. You. And when you ready. You can open your eyes. Take a deep breath. And just write down.
Some of the observations that you made as a coach to yourself. What could you focus on what action. Do you want to take. That’s going to take you to where you want to be. And is there anything that you can do differently? It might be the way you breathe your posture. Maybe your beliefs, maybe it’s the people you hang out with. Maybe it’s the environment you’re working in. There are some things that are contributing to you being stopped and there are those things. That. You know, better than anyone else. Or not serving. So take a moment to figure out yourself. Now, when I did this exercise, I realized I wasn’t living by my values, which were making a difference being social community. Adventure. And then I started noticing opportunities that were aligned with those values.
For example, I took a job offer that came my way out of the blue and I thrived in a new sales role. And then after a couple of years, I decided to travel as adventure was as strong value of mine. So what values came up for you as you coach yourself? And what are you going to do differently? This week. Tomorrow. Right now. I hope you enjoy this episode. Don’t forget to subscribe to the burn from within podcast.
And if you felt you got a lot of value out of this. Want to explore more of your values or what is your authentic self? What are some routes to a fulfilling career where a happier lifestyle. Then feel free to book a free 20 minute discovery call with me. At burn from within.com forward slash call that C a double L. Until next time. Live with passion. Purpose and balance. And burn from